Saturday, February 23, 2013

A winter Saturday

You hear that Arizona? It's still winter here and I'm feeling a little cooped up while you all seem to be posting pictures in your swimsuits beaming into the abundant rays of sunshine.

Ah well. It's been a quiet Saturday, just how I like it. Getting things done, relaxing. Pondering some big decisions, and praying praying praying.

I got a new lens, FINALLY. And so I take a multitude of boring pictures as I try to get the hang of things. Someday (soon please?!) I will get the hang of shooting in manual. It's a sloooowww process.

Can we talk for one moment - just one! - about how my kitten can hardly be called a kitten anymore?! They grow up much too fast folks. When I was baking today, he chased dust in the kitchen for an entire hour. He raced from one side of the room to the other, jumped, leaped, and raced some more. I really hope my future kids can entertain themselves this well.

Jason as always has been studying. I call this outfit business on top, party on bottom.

I made cookies for a friend as well as a kind neighbor. It feels good to bake but then get rid of them!

Tonight Jason's school is having a fancy gala where the teachers are known to get a lil tipsy. Awwkward. But if I get to see my lover in a suit, it's all worth it!

And finally, a little song that seems to be our theme song here in Iowa.

Happy Saturday!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Well, hello.

It’s been quite a while since I blogged and now that I’m writing this, I feel a little silly. There’s something quite silly in general about writing a blog, but as silly (yes I just said silly too many silly times) as it sounds, I wrote a love letter to Jason for Valentine’s day and I realized how much I miss writing, so. Here I am.
Partly why I have been neglecting my little corner of the internet is because I have other outlets for creativity (mainly, my work and well, instagram) and I didn’t have the time nor the desire to blog. One of my jobs, which is temporary, will be ending soon so it feels like the perfect time to reunite, my dear blog and I.
I do realize though that I need to reflect and put down my experiences somewhere; otherwise they float around in my head for a while and then slowly disappear. Lessons seem to stick better after a healthy dose of reflection. I’m making a 2012 memory book now and have enjoyed going through my blog and remembering the good and bad of that year. Blogging does take some work and time, but I do appreciate it in the end.
I’ve been growing a lot during my stay in Des Moines. It seems as though my time at ASU was a time to discover myself, but this move has been all about throwing myself in completely unfamiliar territory and putting all my college self-discovery to the test.
I had gotten comfortable with my life in Arizona, but that comfort has been thrown off. Sometimes life feels like this cycle of a new phase of discomfort followed by gradual re-orientation and newfound comfort, only to be started over when a new phase of discomfort strikes. There have been many days where I feel an itch beneath my skin… this unfamiliarity with my new life and this new person I have become. Of course I am still Emily, because whatever decision I make I will still be my own self, but this self is slightly different. This self is a little less sure of herself, a little more doubtful and timid. My future feels like a garment of clothing that’s a few sizes too big and I am still growing to fit into it but in the meantime it’s baggy and rubs against me in ways I’m not used to.
I’m on this path of soul-searching and trying to figure out my place in this world. I long to know more, but I’m also reminded that the less I know, the more I trust. My God is master of the entire universe, and yet his love for me is all-consuming and complete. I know He will lead me through the darkness and unfamiliarity with his steady hand, one step at a time.