Friday, January 13, 2012
Forgive me, for I am graduating in a few short months, and this results in a lot of reflection as well as anticipation. For example, sometimes I get anxious. Anxious to be in our next stage of life after graduation. Anxious for pets, a backyard, a house (at least a rental), a bigger closet, an actual income... you get the idea.
But then I have to remind myself of how much I will miss this stage of life. I go to class and I have genuine excitement over seeing my classmates. We weren't together for 3 weeks over the holiday and it was fun catching up with everyone after a break like that. Sometimes I feel like I'm still in high school, because it's not "normal" to be this close with my classmates. But I love them and I get warm fuzzies just being back in a room together. It's soooo cheesy but it's true.
I love it being just Jason and me. I love our couple time, cuddling on the couch and watching 24 when I should be doing homework. I love the freedom we have now to take a spontaneous day trip or go out for a nice dinner without much planning. I love the closeness we feel as we learn how to do this "life" thing together. I don't say this as a negative thing for once we have kids and full-time jobs, because I look certainly forward to that. But for now it's us and I'm content.
I really do like school. Sometimes I forget it, and sometimes I get grumpy when I don't get enough sleep for days in a row. But I love the thrill of learning and I love the uniqueness of my school and its hyper-creative environment. It will never be quite this way again where we are designing because we love it, not because we are getting paid. I love the personal growth I've had in my time in college and I will cherish that forever. I've become more me in this environment that's open to self-exploration. I've learned not just practical skills, but also an openness in how I see and learn in the world. While I appreciate my grounding in Christ to direct my choices and morality, I have also learned to appreciate those who think differently. Most importantly, I have learned to come to my own conclusions rather than letting someone else dictate my opinions.
I'm not sure I can say that I love being poor, haha, but nonetheless, it builds character. I have to make decisions on what is most important, and I also appreciate things more when I wait and save up to buy them. My camera was about 3 years coming, and even then I bought the cheapest model, two years-old from Craigslist. But I really adore it and appreciate it. Sure, I would loooove to buy some nicer lenses, but again, I'm learning patience. All good things come in time and I've learned to love second-hand items in ways I never have before.
Simply put, I don't want to forget this stage. I'm choosing to remember, to enjoy, to appreciate, to be happy.