Thursday, November 17, 2011

Our neighbor Greg

We had a neighbor for a year named Greg. We didn't get to know him too well, but he was always very friendly to us. Once, I ran into him on a Saturday morning. Greg was doing laundry, and wasn't wearing a shirt. Greg was a big boy (he worked as a security guard) and after that incident, I wasn't ever able to look at him quite the same knowing that he had bigger breasts than I did.

But that's just a side story. Greg's most memorable scenes in our first year of marriage were much more entertaining.

One day, Greg came to our door. When Jason answered it, Greg smiled his toothy grin and asked how we were doing, and then dropped a rather unexpected bomb. Greg asked if he could borrow our plunger.

Jason and I were nearly speechless. We were shocked and that's always a good situation to catch someone in because then we're not thinking logically. We couldn't think of a nice way to say no, so we humbly handed over the plunger. Well done Greg, well done.

He brought it back after a very long 15 minutes. TMI Greg, TMI. Once he had gone back into his apartment, Jason quickly walked to the dumpster and threw the plunger away. We just couldn't hold onto that thing, knowing what we knew. Of course, I had to share the news on facebook and consequently laugh about it with classmates and coworkers.

The real kicker was when Greg dropped by for another visit about 2-3 weeks later, asking to borrow once more, you guessed it, our plunger. The discomfort was strong in Jason's voice as he said, "No man, no... we don't have a plunger anymore." I couldn't even look at Jason as he answered. The moment we knew Greg closed his door, we burst out laughing in fits of awkward giggles. How do you explain to your neighbor that you suddenly don't have that item they borrowed, for the very reason that they borrowed the item?

We were at Dollar Tree the other day, shopping for Operation Christmas Child, when Jason saw a plunger. For $1. If only Greg had known. We finally have a plunger again, after spending most of 2011 without one. It was a happy day indeed.


  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Does he still live there? I think that should be his Christmas gift this year. Put a big red bow on it and leave it at the door. No need to say who its from, I think he'd figure it out.

  2. That's so gross and funny and awkward!

  3. Baha! I love your writing. You make a funny story that much better just the way you write it. I love you!

  4. hahaha wow. awkward! Thanks for the laugh today!!