Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Today was hard.

I had to present a project idea to my teacher as well as 20 of my classmates. I knew it wasn't the greatest idea but I tried to put a brave face on.

It was a group critique, and so my idea was critiqued. For a very long time. Many things I had done wrong were pointed out. A lot of the criticism was merited, I will be the first to admit it. But that doesn't mean it's easy to stand in front of a group and take the criticism with a smile on my face.

I didn't want to get emotional. And I tried my hardest to hold it in while the rest of my classmates presented their sketches and ideas. I don't know about anyone else, but holding in emotion seems to make it worse for me.

Finally the review was over and I left class for a bit to sit on a balcony and regroup. I cried a bit and felt kind of stupid for doing so, but once the emotion came out, I was able to think more rationally and move on.

I kind of debated actually blogging about this, and I'm certainly not blogging so that someone would feel sorry for me. I just want to be honest on here - life's not rosy all the time.

My education has it's challenges and I want to remember how I grew from those challenges. I'm not sure if I've grown from this yet, but maybe just maybe my skin got a little thicker today. And maybe just maybe I'll read this in 10 years and see how this prepared me for some other situation in my life, whether it be a meeting with a client where I have to face much stiffer criticism, or a situation where someone has a similar experience and I'm able to comfort them with more genuine compassion.

I don't know, but God does. I just have to trust that he has a plan in all of this.

[This picture is pretty random, yes. But I haven't shared many of my Holga Pinhole pictures yet, so here one is!]


  1. well i'm sorry for your day, sounds like a rough one. you continue to amaze me buttkiss, you're a lot stronger than I am (I would've bawled like a baby) you're a rockstar in more ways than you know :) love you
    (here's to better days)

  2. As I read this, I just thought about how I wanted to be sitting next to you in that class, distracting you with witty banter until we could go in private and cry together. Also, to respond with a "yeah right" to any criticism that anyone THINKS they have. :) I love you Em. I love reading your blog because it's so real and so Emily... cause after all, you're like my favorite person. I miss you.