Today was hard.
I had to present a project idea to my teacher as well as 20 of my classmates. I knew it wasn't the greatest idea but I tried to put a brave face on.
It was a group critique, and so my idea was critiqued. For a very long time. Many things I had done wrong were pointed out. A lot of the criticism was merited, I will be the first to admit it. But that doesn't mean it's easy to stand in front of a group and take the criticism with a smile on my face.
I didn't want to get emotional. And I tried my hardest to hold it in while the rest of my classmates presented their sketches and ideas. I don't know about anyone else, but holding in emotion seems to make it worse for me.
Finally the review was over and I left class for a bit to sit on a balcony and regroup. I cried a bit and felt kind of stupid for doing so, but once the emotion came out, I was able to think more rationally and move on.
I kind of debated actually blogging about this, and I'm certainly not blogging so that someone would feel sorry for me. I just want to be honest on here - life's not rosy all the time.
My education has it's challenges and I want to remember how I grew from those challenges. I'm not sure if I've grown from this yet, but maybe just maybe my skin got a little thicker today. And maybe just maybe I'll read this in 10 years and see how this prepared me for some other situation in my life, whether it be a meeting with a client where I have to face much stiffer criticism, or a situation where someone has a similar experience and I'm able to comfort them with more genuine compassion.
I don't know, but God does. I just have to trust that he has a plan in all of this.
[This picture is pretty random, yes. But I haven't shared many of my Holga Pinhole pictures yet, so here one is!]