School starts in less than two days.
I have some things that I wanted to get done today before the semester started, but instead, since church I've been balled up on the couch with no motivation, watching cheesy game shows online and really, just basically doing every but something productive.
It's like my body is going into lock down mode. I think of a scene from a movie where an intruder enters a building and trips an alarm. Immediately the building is filled with loud beeping, flashing lights, and men dressed in black with large guns flooding the hallways.
Lord, help me.
One of my resolutions this year was to live with less fear. And yet, here I am, already feeling myself frozen with fear. The emails are already pouring in of projects to come, namely, one huge group project/competition. The more information I get, the more the panic begins to rise.
I'm reminded of this promise in Romans:
If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
(Really the whole chapter 8 is amazing and so applicable to me today. Read it!)
I can make this all about myself. I can doubt myself and live in fear. I depend on my own (desperately frail) strength to get me through. Or, I can trust in the God of the universe, who loves me and works all out for good. Even if that good is failing in school, I trust that he will still be glorified.
I found this picture the other day. I took it on the last day of school last semester. I don't know the last time my hair was washed, the dark circles under my eyes were menacing, I was running on a very minimal amount of sleep and too much caffeine, and my arm and wrist were in pain, thus the brace. But through the grace of God, I had done it.
Here's to the spring semester!
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18